A place for random posts about painting and modelling miniatures for historical, fantasy, and science fiction tabletop games.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Late Night at The Drunk Duck

Once Upon a Time, in a mystical land far far away.......

Uhmmmm, OK not really

It was last week and it was down at the local tavern.

Overheard at the Local Tavern

A effeminate cleric loudly and arrogantly proclaims to his adventuring party "Our people pulled out of the War because it was just a unpopular war and our peoples just wanted peace."

A crusty old Fighter sitting at the adjoining table looks around the room and says loudly "Is she right? 'Cause I know that's the *popular* version of what went on there. And a lot of people like to believe that. I wish I could, but I was *there*. I wasn't here in a tavern, hoping I was right, thinking about it."

The Fighter jumps to his feet and yells "I was up to my knees in mud and blood, with crossbows that didn't work! Going in there, looking for Orcs, slugging it out with them; While..."

The fighter turns and yells in the face of the young cleric "pussies like you were back here partying, putting robes on, smoking pipeweed, and listening to goddamn Elven Bards playing their fucking lutes! Oh! Oh! Oh!"

A nearby Elven Bard speaks out "Hey their old-timer, take it easy. These kids were in just babies at the time, and as for me... I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover."

The fighter spins to glare at the bard, “Well, Well, What do we have here? Cleric's little helper?"

"You remember that thing we had about 30 years ago called the War of the Last Alliance? And how we failed to achieve victory? How come we didn't cross the great plain of Dagorlad and push those orcs back to Barad-dûr?"

The fighter flips over the table screaming "Then take the fucking wall apart, brick by brick and catapult them back into the fucking stone age forever? Tell me why! How come? Say it! Say it!

The Elven Bard incensed screams back, "All right. I'll say it. 'Cause Elrond and Círdan were too much of a *pussy wimps* to toss Isildur and the Ring into the Fires of Mount Doom and destroy Sauron forever!

The crusty old Fighter chuckles "Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm gonna be watching you."

The Elven Bard chuckling nervously to his adventuring party "Nice Guy. He really seems to care."
then glancing around "About what I have no idea."